How To Have More Love In Your Life
It’s always confused me why, after someone has been married for say… 10 or 15 years, they seem to lose their luster, so to speak.
When I see them in their relationships it reminds me of a car, the day you bring it home it’s got that new car glow, the new car smell and you you WANT to show it off to the neighborhood. But, after owning the car for several years, it becomes old hat. The shine has dimmed; the fresh smell is replaced with the scent of pine or citrus in some attempt to mask the “I’ve been driven by people who sometimes have odors”, smell.
Call me crazy, but I would be sad too if my marriage was like an old, run down, smelly car; but I refuse to let my relationship with my wife become so…. blah!
Instead I prefer to view my marriage like a perfect bottle of wine (though I’m not suggesting you need to drink wine to be happily married), but think about how wine is made. You crush grapes, ferment them and as it ages it gets stronger, more potent and more valuable. Though I’m not a wine drinker, those that I know who are tell me that the older a wine is, the better it is, and that’s how I want my marriage to be.
So, what can we do to strengthen our intimate relationships?
1. The three words that will keep you happy: “I Love You”. Ronald Reagan in a letter to his son Michael just before he was to be married wrote him a letter to give him some insights into marriage. At the very end of that letter in the P.S. it reads: You’ll never get in trouble if you say “I love you” at least once a day. Now one thing we know about President Reagan, he loved Mrs. Reagan with everything he was and we should follow his lead.
2. Communication isn’t enough, it requires friendship. I’ve read my share of marriage books and communication skills is nearly always one of the key points but my view is that forced communication is often destructive, not helpful. It takes building a friendship with your spouse and in the cases of healthy, happy relationships, it’s common to find out that spouses are each other’s best friend. What I’m saying is that it’s more than building a family or bringing home the bacon, it’s about building a life together, and you certainly would have a difficult time doing that if all their was to your relationship was, go to work, come home, eat, watch some TV and repeat. No, friendship allows you to spend time together and enjoy it, for you to speak frankly to each other and know that it’s for your betterment, and to share something magical together that transcends time itself because it is passed on to your children. There is no better relationship than to be in love with the one person who is your best friend too.
Give me your thoughts, what else do you think strengthens your relationship with your spouse?
Leave your thoughts in the comments.