What does it really take to make love last ‘Forever’
Today is the day that we celebrate romantic love; men rush out to buy their sweethearts flowers and chocolates and maybe even one of those teddy bears with a big heart on its chest. There’s nothing at all wrong with this celebration and the women really enjoy it and hopefully us men do too; but my question is does it represent a love that can last a lifetime?
Unfortunately, St. Valentine Day isn’t the secret success of love even if it’s a great reminder. The real success of love is based in the foundation of three kinds of love. I know you always thought that love was just love well, it’s not…but let me explain.
Can you remember when you and your “Valentine” were just dating? Or maybe you’re in that stage of your relationship now; but what was or is your primary motivation in the relationship at that time? I know that when I think back to that time, I remember trying to make my girlfriend at the time who is my wife of twenty years now, happy.
I would do anything to put a smile on her face; I would buy her whatever made her happy, message her feet (is it coming back to you?). If she wanted ice cream in the middle of the night and woke me up to tell me; I would get up, put my clothes on and go out into the night to get her ice cream.
Of course, this isn’t one sided she would do the same for me too.
This kind of love is servant love; it’s doing things for your loved one with no expectations in return just because you want their life to be better or happier or more fulfilled. You meet their needs and wants as if they were the most popular, valuable person in your physical world.
Then there is physical love.
It’s a unique closeness to another person; to kiss and hold hands, (keeping it “G” rated) is an act of intimacy and an expression of love. We were created to feel by touch and God made it into something beautiful and when most of us see that expression of love in young people while they are in the act of it are either struck with a heartfelt “awe” or are disgusted by the public display. And yet for those who are disgusted they’ve forgotten their time in that chair holding hands, rubbing noses and sneaking kisses while the whole world had disappeared while others looked at them in disgust.
Lastly there is friendship.
When you talk to people who’ve been married fifty years and are clearly still in love; listen carefully and at some point they’ll tell you that they are best friends. It’s not enough to just be married to someone for a length of time and devolve into roommates we need a friend to carry us through the difficulties of life.
It’s the love of a friend that’ll tell you it will be okay when you lose your job or that big client you’d be working on so hard. It is a friend that’ll be by your side when tragedy strikes and walk with you through your grief and pain. It is a friend that you can rely on that will carry you through the bad times to get back to the good ones.
To me these are the three loves of a relationship that lasts a lifetime. So today when you are out celebrating love try to remember all three.
One last thing; don’t forget the original love…God. The Bible says that God is love which means that He is the perfect representation of all three because He is the original.